


like the stars chase the sun

by hopemedallion (ragnarock)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), mentioned Rose Tico, mentioned Tico family members, rose is barely in this other than paige mentioning her, said minor original character is a third Tico sibling, we've all watched the movies so we know what happens to paige
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 05:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16010963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragnarock/pseuds/hopemedallion
Summary: Sometimes, if she tries hard enough, Paige can almost pretend that she’s back on Otomok. But for all the mysteries and wonders of the universe, time does not run backwards.





	like the stars chase the sun

**Author's Note:**

> a character study/introspection of sorts for paige tico. i love her dearly.
> 
> mio tico is the third tico sibling. he was the eldest and was kidnapped by the first order to become a stormtrooper.

**i.**

When Paige closes her eyes, she can still see it in front of her. The controls of the decommissioned StarFortress just under her fingertips, switches filling her vision the way she saw them when she was seven. She remembers how she fitted snugly under her mother’s chin in the small space of the cockpit, Mama’s steady hands holding hers as she patiently explained what each of the buttons could do, guiding her as her hands gripped the joysticks and made the giant oredigger they sat in move to her command.

Sometimes, if she tries hard enough, Paige can almost pretend that she’s back on Otomok. That she’s twelve all over again, that the First Order is the last thing she’d ever think herself to be worried about. That her biggest dream, other than to travel the galaxy with Rose, is to fly for the Central Ridge Mining Company, so she can earn enough credits for another snowgrape vine in their sunroom, and Rose and her could stuff themselves silly with the sour fruit.

But for all the mysteries and wonders of the universe, time does not run backwards.

 

**ii.**

Paige’s grandparents are immigrants. Not habitable by nature, the Otomok System could be a challenging place to live — cold, suspended in perpetual twilight, half its days arriving with some sort of snowfall, other times something less pleasant, like sleet.

It’s in Haysnian blood, her father likes to joke. The ability to adapt, to live anywhere, like a whipweed plant that doesn’t know it’s not where it’s supposed to grow. And if it’s Haysnian blood, it’s what’s saved Paige. Her brain knows how to turn when she needs it to, spinning story after story to save her life. (After all, the galaxy isn’t as safe as she’d want it to be. She has both herself and Rose to take care of, after all.)

 

**iii.**

Rose gets her temper from their mother, Paige thinks. Sure, as a child Paige could be just as fierce as any woman of the Tico family, but she likes to think that she’s mellowed out a bit to take after her dad. (She doesn’t like to admit that part of it is because she’s learned to bite her tongue — for her mother, for her sister. She would not let something like what happened to Mio happen again.)

Mama once told her that hatred consumes a person. It’s what stops her from letting herself be filled with burning rage for the First Order after what they’ve done — taking her brother. Murdering her planet. She’s seen Rose come dangerously close to falling in the trap of the cycle of hatred, seen her viciously denounce the First Order.

Paige understands.

Paige understands, but she tries anyway to stop herself from doing the same, too. So she turns to stories, like how her grandmother used to pull stories from her imagination about a pair of sisters, suspiciously similar to herself and Rose, from a galaxy far, far away.

 

**iv.**

One day, she decides to tell herself a story about a Stormtrooper. With their masks on they were faceless, many and terrifying. She wonders what the person beneath is like.

Surely not all of them could be bad, she tells herself. Has to convince herself, because admitting that all Stormtroopers were evil was just like saying that Mio would never come back to them. (He had to, because Paige doesn’t think she can bear to think of herself and Rose as alone in the universe.) Thinks about all the stories she’d heard on Hays Minor about children being kidnapped, taken away, their parents seduced by stories of a better life for them under First Order command.

They couldn’t all be bad if they’d just been — brainwashed. (Like Mio probably was at this point. But she has to have _hope_ , she tells herself. It’s what will get them through this fight.)

 

**v.**

Paige supposes the universe is as weary of the fighting as she is of it. Of all the war, the destruction, the hatred.

She doesn’t know how Rose keeps it up, keeps the anger in her heart in constant flames, because sometimes, she just feels tired. Tired of her very survival being an act of rebellion, tired that all that stands between the First Order taking total control over the galaxies is her, General Leia, and the crew they call the Resistance.

But she knows in her bones that she would not rest — could not rest — while evil was out there. Sure, her Haysnian blood might have made her exceptionally adaptable, but it was her mother and father’s teachings that had instilled a sense of justice in her.

After all, it was why they started their own resistance on Otomok. Why they stayed back on Hays Minor. (Why they fell, along with their home.)

She knows right from wrong, and never runs away when it gets hard.

 

**vi.**

Each time Paige enters the cockpit of the StarFortress, she knows it might be her last.

She slides into her seat, the controls surrounding her as familiar as a second home. As the bomber departs from its station, whirring to life in a hum beneath her feet, Paige looks out deep into the stars. They’d always seemed so vast back on Hays Minor. Small dots, burning gold, endlessly stretching into the expanse. She’d spent more than a thousand nights counting them with Rose.

Stars turn into flares of gunfire. By now every motion she has to make are engraved into her very being, which buttons to press and which way to aim to hit her targets. A shot of blue streaking past her reminds her of the family she has behind her — the rest of her squadron. The Resistance. She knows what she has to do.

One by one the rest of her squadron are set ablaze by the Dreadnaught, and suddenly, she and her crew, her _family_ , are the only ones left. An explosion rocks the bomber, the rest of them stop answering her calls. (She suspects they never will again. Funny how she’ll lose her family no matter how hard she tries.)

There is no glory in these flames, Paige thinks. For all the talk about heroes and honour, we all die the same. But there is one thing left for her to do, even if she will go down with her bomber, bringing down the Dreadnaught with her inferno of destruction. With the control in her hands, she presses the button. The proton bombs fall.

She clutches her medallion, half of the whole that matches with Rose’s, and closes her eyes for one final time. Lets the brilliance of her own pyre engulf her. Hopes that Rose is proud of her from where Paige is sure she’s watching, safe.

_See you then, Rose._

Maybe it is time for her to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> just a little something i started working on in july and just finished yesterday night. not reaaaally majorly edited, only lightly proofread as i went. hope you enjoy anyway !


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